Vertigo ~ My Adult Merry-Go-Round

        It wasn’t until I was in my 30s I realized I detest amusement parks, complete with rides turning me upside down and inside out. Once the ride was over, I’d slowly find a place to sit down until my world stopped spinning an hour later. By the time I was 54, the spinning no longer required Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride. I was spinning day and night, complete with nonstop nausea. Driving took on a new dimension as I made my way around town at the pace of an elderly woman.

In the summer of 1967 my mother remarried and our new father planned a road trip to take us camping. Ross, my six-year-old brother, mother, new father and I jumped into the family station wagon for a two-hour road trip. Being a year older than Ross, I grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and dragged him into the rear of the station wagon to play tag. We chased each other around for over an hour while “Dad”, our newly-adoptive father, drove over the river and through the woods. The fun and laughter came to a screeching halt, however, when I heaved my breakfast all over our traveling, carpeted play ground.

Dad pulled the car into the nearest rest stop and walked to the back of our station wagon. My complexion was pasty-white and I felt limp as a noodle. The sight and smell of my overly-digested breakfast sent Ross racing into the parking lot while my mother grabbed clean clothes from the suitcase strapped to the roof. From that day forward, my balanced being would endure tremendous instability physically, mentally and emotionally until finding the cure 47 years later.

The severity of my vertigo wreaked havoc in several areas of my life. My eyes darted back and forth while my brain attempted receiving new information. Once the information was inside my head, it bounced around as if shot from a pinball machine and landed in unknown compartments. When I attempted retrieving the information, it was no where to be found.

When I was 18, I met and fell in love with John, an Army surfer boy, while on vacation in Hawaii. I moved there to be with him and we were inseparable for 10 months until it was time for him to be discharged. It was then he realized he didn’t know how to care for someone like me and ended our relationship. I returned to the Mainland to begin a new life.

My four childhood girlfriends headed off to universities therefore, I followed their lead. While obtaining my AA degree, I had a nervous breakdown caused by the ferocious struggle from my studies. I still wasn’t aware I had serious learning problems and therefore, headed on to obtain my BS degree. It was at the University of Hawaii I was instructed to join the Learning Assistance Program. My slowness was given a name: Learning Disabled.  I didn’t graduate with my friends as I’d failed classes and needed to re-take them.

I was 36 when I knew it was time to marry and finally become a mother, my heart’s desire. At long last, I’d have the love, comfort and stability I’d kicked to the curb when I left home at 18. I married a brilliant man, however, our marriage lasted only six years. Although my husband and I divorced, I was blessed with an amazing son.

My first love re-connected with me 30 years after we parted ways and I described my marriage. He listened quietly and then responded, “Wow. You must have pushed your husband over the edge.” He told me about our loving relationship when we learned I have no memory of our time together. He said I had to sleep on my right side or I’d become dizzy and nauseous. I didn’t remember this and was grateful he told me.

After 35 years of non-stop struggling, I returned to my home town with no where else to go. My childhood friends welcomed me with open hearts and were elated I’d finally come home again. Rosie, one of my friends the past 46 years, noticed my eyes constantly darted back and forth. I told her I was constantly dizzy, too, and it seemed to be getting worse.

I researched vertigo and sensed this was my problem. Vertigo is the sensation the world is spinning or moving even though you’re stationary. The dizziness associated with vertigo leads to nausea, balance problems, comprehension issues and other problems. Vertigo happens when tiny calcium carbonate crystals in one part of your inner ear float to another part of your inner ear, disrupting your equilibrium and triggering the uncomfortable dizzy sensation.

The past 47 years, I’d been unable to put my head back, travel in the passenger seat without becoming nauseous, go on amusement rides, do exercises requiring bending over, sleep without being propped up or move my head too quickly from side to side while standing. My eyes constantly blinked attempting to focus clearly as though they were foggy.

I learned those with vertigo can do the Epley Maneuver so the inner ear crystals return to their proper location. Even though I’d not been medically diagnosed with vertigo, I couldn’t wait a moment longer for help. I knew from John, my first love, I had to sleep on my right side therefore, I read this meant my vertigo was in my left ear.         
The Epley Maneuver is a series of head movements that return loose crystals in your inner ear to their correct place. I did three times at home, however, still didn’t feel well. I told Rosie what I’d tried and she told me about The Rose Center, for rehabilitation, hope and wellness services. She said to make an appointment and Robin, a physical therapist, who came highly recommended. I did as Rosie instructed, however, learned a doctor’s prescription was required first. I contacted a local doctor friend who wrote the prescription and then I made the appointment.

Robin was patient, kind and thorough while investigating my inner ear problem. She put funny looking goggles on my head to see deep into my eyes and ears. She was able to see my inner ear crystals were exactly where they were supposed to be. I told her I’d performed the Epley Maneuver three times at home and she confirmed I’d done them correctly. Still, as I stood up to walk for Robin, my world spun me around in circles. Robin gave me a series of eye exercises to do at home and instinctively I knew that wasn’t the answer to my continued dizziness.

Bonny, an intuitive healer friend, emailed asking how my appointment went. I relayed the latest information and within a few minutes she responded saying I had a severe electrolyte deficiency. She said to take extra potassium, calcium and magnesium. I did this immediately and the next morning awoke feeling 100% fine!

Am I still learning disabled? Vertigo is one of the symptoms of the learning disabled and I’m no longer on that horrific Merry-Go-Round. With my inner ear crystals in their proper place, I ride in the passenger seat when my son drives, I have no interest in amusement park rides, do exercises with balance, my eyes no longer dart around and I’m sleeping on both sides.

Admittedly, math, physics or science aren’t my strong suits, however, Albert Einstein said, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid.” Being left handed and right brained, I’m like a fish in the water surrounded by creativity, music, writing, organic health, dreams, intuition, Mother Nature, love, laughter, alternative thinking, my son and the Universe’s kind-hearted creations, which brings out the genius in me.